Love Another As Thyself?

When showering is more than a chore and you can enjoy a little extra hot water after 1.5 hours of flag football in 12 degree weather in the snow, that warm water brings some reflection time. I don't claim to interpret the scriptures accurately on my own, but I will share the meaningful life lessons that touch me as I ponder the words of the Lord. Maybe it will help you in your life.

The New Testament cites Christ commanding people multiple times to "love thy neighbor as thyself" (see also Mark 12:29-33). What does that mean, exactly? Why does He add the last two words, "as thyself?" What is the key to that phrase and how do we unlock it so that we love others in the way Christ knows is possible?

People often say, "You can't really love someone until you love yourself." I always had to think hard about that and usually concluded that it could be true...maybe, maybe not. I didn't have real life experience to back it up. Now I think I do.

One day I was sitting on my stairwell, enjoying the fresh air, waiting for a friend to come, as we had plans. I had known him for a bit, but on this particular day, as he was walking up the stairs, I became keenly aware and self-conscious of a birthmark on my leg. I was wearing shorts (and had been fine all day), but this would be his first time seeing it. I had been feeling happy and excited to see him, but I suddenly turned inward to worry and concern of whether he would accept this part of me. Looking back on it, my greeting to him was empty and self-absorbed for fear that he wouldn't like it. Fear of rejection. The real problem: I was not ok with my birthmark, so I assumed he might not be, too. Most of the time I am ok with it, but sometimes that old Father of Lies comes in and tells me that I'm not good enough. Sometimes I believe him, but when I realize it's a lie, I try to kick it out.

When we listen to the sneaky, little lies, we turn inward and self-centered, becoming more easily offended. The saddest part is that we are usually unaware of it. It can happen in an instant and last for not much longer than that. We talk back to it by accepting ourselves in that moment when tempted not to. A work in progress for most people.

So what happens when someone tries to love you, but you become consumed with your past mistakes, the consequences of them, your frustrating bad habits, character flaws, or other things you don't like about yourself? Unknowingly, you become self-centered, comparing yourself to another. Instead of looking outward and noticing your neighbor (anyone and everyone) for who they are as a child of God with power, beauty, and love, your sights are reverted back to yourself and are focused on things you are self-conscious about. Maybe you notice other's flaws to cover your own. Your self-consciousness might be related to your body image, peace of mind, spirituality, mistakes, financial situation, family situations, etc. If you don't accept yourself and your situation or forgive yourself for mistakes you have made and consequences you've had to live with, how can you go on to really see others when they are standing in front of you with glory and beauty? We become blinded by our own dilemma. It's ok that you are human with failings and flaws. It's ok. Christ's Atonement is for us to place our insecurities and regrets at the feet of the Lord and let Him walk with us to show us how to love our neighbors and ourselves. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear (1 John 4:18-19). You are who you are today because of where you have been and the strength you have gained from your life experience and circumstances. Let the truth make you free (John 8:32). Your life is truth, your reality. Some things we can change and the others we must choose to live in gratitude to God.