Your Butterfly [Affect]

Chaos theory studies a system known as the butterfly effect, as applied in math, sciences, engineering, etc. It is a series of events that occur because of the sensitivity to the first event. For example, a butterfly flapping its wings in Argentina can affect the weather in Houston. That small event snowballs or ripples unpredictably.

Have you ever stopped to think of the power of example? Have you ever tried to keep up with the Jones’? (Who are they anyway?) Have you ever “jumped on the bandwagon?” Yup, we all have. What choice did you make that you wouldn’t have otherwise made, changing your course slightly? For the sake of an example, think of someone in a position of great influence that you really respect. If they were to do something that you thought shocking, how many people do you think would follow suit and justify in their own heart doing that same thing? It may not be openly admitted that these people’s action spawned from that, but our actions have both potential and kinetic energy that we are typically unaware of. We think that our actions only affect ourselves; however, we don’t know who is watching us at any given moment. Who do you watch? That sounds creepy, but come on…if you esteem anyone, you watch their actions and sometimes do what they have done. It is our nature. “So-and-so is a great person and they do that, so I can too and I will be fine.” Oh yeah, you were just looking for a reason to justify what you do or wanted to do. Other times when you see a good example, you say, “I really like that they do that. I am going to do that as well,” and now your life is better for it. I take pieces I like of people and I assimilate it into my life. I have developed many good traits because of the people I have known. I didn’t become me (good and bad) by myself, although in the end, the choice is mine. Most people don’t even know what influence they had on me, but I can pinpoint small changes of course and who unknowingly helped. This gleaning from others does not stop.

Some of my favorite (and I have many) chapters in the Book of Mormon are in the book of Alma from Ch. 32-40, respectively. In Ch. 37, he is speaking to his son, Helaman and in verse 6 says, “… by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” I don’t know about you, but it seems in my life that the small things make the most difference. It is the daily prayer and scripture study that help me feel close to the Lord. It is the first introduction that stems a life-long friendship. It is thinking to try something new that leads to a brand new hobby. It was the kind words of encouragement that gave me strength to keep training for and running a marathon.

People have the ability to inspire or deplete hope in others through their actions and words. Ultimately, our hope should lie in the Lord, for he is unchanging; however, we cannot deny the power of ours and others’ influence. We can also be sure that our choices will affect generations that follow us. Children and grandchildren look to us for our example. May we keep striving one day or hour at a time, remembering that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass,” even by a wee butterfly. What is your affect? Contrastingly, what is your effect?

You Got Yourself There

A few years ago, I was listening in on a conversation of friends about a family relation that lives mostly on Church Welfare and food stamps. The wife stayed home with the kids and he was in an out of jobs. She was quite capable of working, but they have strong values for her staying home with the kids. This situation frustrated my one friend who felt like they got a lot for nothing. She looked at it and thought that because he was not proving his ability to hold down a steady income or even make good choices, the wife should pick up the slack and get a job, leaving him at home with the kids.

The friends having the conversation were and are successful in their career. They have been wise enough with their finances and haven’t fallen prey to lay-offs that struggling hasn’t been an issue. They contribute money to the Church welfare system monthly. They recognize the need for family to step in first when family struggles, but apparently the couple had burned so many financial bridges in their family, making the same irresponsible mistakes over and over, that their family mostly decided to leave it in the hands of the bishop and state, who could make the necessary allocations for their food and other needs.

As I was recently reading in the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 4:16-19, I was reminded of this conversation from a few years ago. In this scripture, King Benjamin is giving a sermon to the people, telling them to not turn away the beggar or say within themselves, “the man has brought this upon himself his misery, so I will stay my hand and will not give unto him…of my substance…for his punishments are just.” King Benjamin reminds us that we are all beggars. We all need help from the Lord. He has given us EVERYTHING we have, so for us to withhold our substance from those who could benefit, is giving the Lord a good reason to withhold blessings from us. You may see someone whose situation you think you know well and out of bitterness or spite say to yourself, “They got themselves there, they can get themselves out.” The Lord is always willing to help us out of our situations if we but turn to him, so we, therefore, ought to do the same for others. How we judge and treat others is how we will be dealt with by the Lord, which is only fair. He gives us blessings we don’t deserve. That is called grace.

The question arises: How do I help people without enabling their poor choices in money management? Sometimes it is giving money and sometimes it isn't. Love doesn't mean enabling poor behavior. It means ultimately helping people so they can help themselves. Use your best judgement and give to charities or organizations that have values you esteem, so you feel like you are keeping the commandment to give freely and not turn away the poor and needy. After all…anyone could be left in a destitute situation at any time, right? It may not always be financial, but we are all in need of care. Let us not withhold unnecessarily if it could benefit another or relieve a burden.