You Got Yourself There

A few years ago, I was listening in on a conversation of friends about a family relation that lives mostly on Church Welfare and food stamps. The wife stayed home with the kids and he was in an out of jobs. She was quite capable of working, but they have strong values for her staying home with the kids. This situation frustrated my one friend who felt like they got a lot for nothing. She looked at it and thought that because he was not proving his ability to hold down a steady income or even make good choices, the wife should pick up the slack and get a job, leaving him at home with the kids.

The friends having the conversation were and are successful in their career. They have been wise enough with their finances and haven’t fallen prey to lay-offs that struggling hasn’t been an issue. They contribute money to the Church welfare system monthly. They recognize the need for family to step in first when family struggles, but apparently the couple had burned so many financial bridges in their family, making the same irresponsible mistakes over and over, that their family mostly decided to leave it in the hands of the bishop and state, who could make the necessary allocations for their food and other needs.

As I was recently reading in the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 4:16-19, I was reminded of this conversation from a few years ago. In this scripture, King Benjamin is giving a sermon to the people, telling them to not turn away the beggar or say within themselves, “the man has brought this upon himself his misery, so I will stay my hand and will not give unto him…of my substance…for his punishments are just.” King Benjamin reminds us that we are all beggars. We all need help from the Lord. He has given us EVERYTHING we have, so for us to withhold our substance from those who could benefit, is giving the Lord a good reason to withhold blessings from us. You may see someone whose situation you think you know well and out of bitterness or spite say to yourself, “They got themselves there, they can get themselves out.” The Lord is always willing to help us out of our situations if we but turn to him, so we, therefore, ought to do the same for others. How we judge and treat others is how we will be dealt with by the Lord, which is only fair. He gives us blessings we don’t deserve. That is called grace.

The question arises: How do I help people without enabling their poor choices in money management? Sometimes it is giving money and sometimes it isn't. Love doesn't mean enabling poor behavior. It means ultimately helping people so they can help themselves. Use your best judgement and give to charities or organizations that have values you esteem, so you feel like you are keeping the commandment to give freely and not turn away the poor and needy. After all…anyone could be left in a destitute situation at any time, right? It may not always be financial, but we are all in need of care. Let us not withhold unnecessarily if it could benefit another or relieve a burden.