The Truth

Recently, I found myself drowning in my own head. It was that all too familiar feeling of wondering if I'm on track to avoiding the mistakes of those in my past and if I am giving people close to me too much leeway. Sometimes I withhold goodness, service and willingness because I fear that I am or will be being taken advantage of. I was caught up to the point that instead of noticing the good, I was looking for what was wrong; seeking it out in order to justify my insecurity. My focus was sending me into a downward spiral and I was beginning to damage relationships. Luckily, someone who loves me assured me that I can reconstruct my future. My past experiences don't have to permeate the present and poison the future.

Part of Jacob 4:13 reads, "...the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested until us plainly..." I'll focus on a couple of points in that section of that verse.

First, the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. I remind myself frequently of the fruits of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5:22-23, which says that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. If I am not feeling these feelings, I can be sure that I don't have the Spirit of God with me guiding my thoughts and actions. I admit that it can be difficult to simply pull oneself out of the gutter of negativity and begin to feel these things, but it happens to me when I choose to see the truth...things as they really are, instead of seeing the present and future through the destructive lens of my fears.

As I read on in the verse, I wanted to know how those things would be manifested unto me plainly. It occurred to me that fear muddles and clouds things so that what was previously clear is not anymore. When I am scared of my present or of my future, it is usually irrational. Some of those fears are based on real experiences from the past, but I have realized that when I allow my past experiences to create fear of my present circumstances, things as they really are get muddled and things aren't so plain to see anymore. I start worrying that the present will turn out just like the past or that in my future, I will turn out like person x,y, or z. I then become removed from the reality of today and my ability to construct my own life. I fall prey to my fears and find myself paused...paused in a moment, but then going backward, failing to trust in my ability to build my life the way that I have been given power from God to do so.

In an attempt to learn how to see things as they are, I did a deconstruction activity where I honestly listed my fears for the present and future; fears that tend to infiltrate my thoughts frequently. Next to each one, I listed the opposing truth...the reality. I felt empowered by the truth of reality. I was reminded that I can construct my world and build it into whatever I choose. That is the beauty of God's plan of choice. We can change the lens we see through so that we see things plainly as they really are.